Filed under: Coaching, Personal, Spirituality | Tags: being right, Coaching, pop psychology, Random, spiritual education
If only there were one SRP per person, the world would be a less judgmental place, most likely. Unfortunately, we all have a multitude of self-righteous positions and we have no limit to the possible number, nor how many of them we can juggle all at the same time.
So what is an SRP anyway? You’ll most likely be able to identify a self-righteous position when you have a strong reaction, judgment or opinion about another person or a situation. It can be defined as that moment in which we are absolutely certain we know what is right for someone else or what is wrong with them.
The ego loves SRPs. It can’t get enough. Just thinking about an SRP is like rolling candy on the tongue. We savor it because it’s just so delicious to be focused on someone other than ourselves. How clear it all is when someone else is clearly being a sanctimonious, self-righteous bitch or an arrogant ass. We have a sixth sense about it; we can smell it a mile away.
The unfortunate news is that this is nearly always a projection of our own egoic perspective. Yes, yes, no matter how unbelievable that may seem, we are able to pick up what’s right or wrong in another through the miracle process known in transpersonal psychology and made famous by Carl Jung as projection. Projection is the involuntary transfer of denied aspects of the self onto others in order that we may see them. We can project light as well as dark aspects of the self that we just cannot accept or see in our own personalities. To some the concept may seem ridiculous, frightening or even boring. But it’s a phenomenon that isn’t really boring at all. It’s pretty interesting once we are willing to open up to the possibility that this could actually be true.
So, here’s an example from my own life. I’ve spent most of my adult life believing with every fiber of my being that my sister is a sanctimonious, self-righteous bitch. She’s 7+ years older than me, she thinks she know everything, including what’s right for me and the rest of the world. No one can help her, but then she’s the martyr because she has to do everything herself. When someone else does do something, of course, they did it wrong! I threw up my hands in surrender a few years ago. I decided that if that’s the game and I can’t change it, then I wouldn’t play anymore.
Of course the cost of that position was that I would not be able to have a relationship with my only sister. I’m now 52, so that should give you a pretty good idea of how attached I have been to this SRP.
In my next blog, I’ll continue with the rest of the story. I’ll explain how I came to understand my view and reaction to this relationship and what my choices were as well as how my choices actually transformed all aspects of my relationship with my sister.
Thanks for reading.
Filed under: Coaching, Personal, Spirituality | Tags: being right, Coaching, pop psychology, Random, spiritual education
If only there were one SRP per person, the world would be a less judgmental place, most likely. Unfortunately, we all have a multitude of self-righteous positions and we have no limit to the possible number, nor how many of them we can juggle all at the same time.
So what is an SRP anyway? You’ll most likely be able to identify a self-righteous position when you have a strong reaction, judgment or opinion about another person or a situation. It can be defined as that moment in which we are absolutely certain we know what is right for someone else or what is wrong with them.
The ego loves SRPs. It can’t get enough. Just thinking about an SRP is like rolling candy on the tongue. We savor it because it’s just so delicious to be focused on someone other than ourselves. How clear it all is when someone else is clearly being a sanctimonious, self-righteous bitch or an arrogant ass. We have a sixth sense about it; we can smell it a mile away.
The unfortunate news is that this is nearly always a projection of our own egoic perspective. Yes, yes, no matter how unbelievable that may seem, we are able to pick up what’s right or wrong in another through the miracle process known in transpersonal psychology and made famous by Carl Jung as projection. Projection is the involuntary transfer of denied aspects of the self onto others in order that we may see them. We can project light as well as dark aspects of the self that we just cannot accept or see in our own personalities. To some the concept may seem ridiculous, frightening or even boring. But it’s a phenomenon that isn’t really boring at all. It’s pretty interesting once we are willing to open up to the possibility that this could actually be true.
So, here’s an example from my own life. I’ve spent most of my adult life believing with every fiber of my being that my sister is a sanctimonious, self-righteous bitch. She’s 7+ years older than me, she thinks she know everything, including what’s right for me and the rest of the world. No one can help her, but then she’s the martyr because she has to do everything herself. When someone else does do something, of course, they did it wrong! I threw up my hands in surrender a few years ago. I decided that if that’s the game and I can’t change it, then I wouldn’t play anymore.
Of course the cost of that position was that I would not be able to have a relationship with my only sister. I’m now 52, so that should give you a pretty good idea of how attached I have been to this SRP.
In my next blog, I’ll continue with the rest of the story. I’ll explain how I came to understand my view and reaction to this relationship and what my choices were as well as how my choices actually transformed all aspects of my relationship with my sister.
Thanks for reading.
Filed under: Brain Function, Coaching, Personal, Spirituality | Tags: Brain Function, consciousness, Descartes, ego, mind shift, personality, Spirituality
I began a serious journey into the origin and function of the personality v. spirituality a few years ago and was shocked to learn that my ego was nothing more that a collection of never-ending thoughts with which I habitually identify. In other words, I think I am my thoughts.
All these many years I have focused on developing my spiritual self and wondered why it is that I have always fallen short of my expectations. The more I learned, the more I judged myself to be lacking in the stuff that makes one spiritual. But, where did my concept of what spirituality looks like develop? If I always fell short, there must be a standard by which I was making the judgement. Where did that originate? Was this my own concept of spirituality or was it from a source outside of me? Was this a biological process that brought me to a conclusion or was it an involuntary habit of being outer-referring?
According to some brain researchers, the mind functions as two distinct, yet connected processors. It would probably be fair to say the two halves of the brain, having different functions run parallel with each other. I’m not a brain researcher, but I do think that certain brain research offers some answers for me.
In my left brain, I am fully identified with my thoughts. To quote Rene Descartes, “Cogito ergo sum,” “I think; therefore I am.” I take the liberty of saying, I think I am and conversely, I think I am not. And it is within these two, small statements that I began to shift my own consciousness.
In my right brain, I am beautiful, one with the universe, intuitive and creative. In my right brain, I can move beyond the notion that I am my thoughts. I can even move beyond my modified version of Descartes’ famous quote, I think I am and I think I am not. In my right brain, there is not structured thought. In my right brain my modification becomes, simply, I am.
Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor gives a talk about right brain, left brain function. She is a brain researcher and she is a brain researcher who experienced a stroke that destroyed her very educated and relied upon left hemisphere. She tells us that the part of our brains that we choose to use determines what is possible for our lives. The video of the talk in its entirety is available through a link on my website. Go to www.cultivateyourlife.com and click on the link. It is 18:44 minutes of spell binding possibility.
I am in the process of becoming aware of the ways that I bond with my thoughts and allow myself and others to be defined by their limitations. I have come to understand in some small ways that I already am spirituality. Like looking for the diamond in your own back yard, the last place my thinking mind thought to look was within. Spirituality is not a commodity that I can seek and find. I am…spirituality.
Filed under: Brain Function, Coaching, Personal, Spirituality | Tags: Brain Function, consciousness, Descartes, ego, mind shift, personality, Spirituality
I began a serious journey into the origin and function of the personality v. spirituality a few years ago and was shocked to learn that my ego was nothing more that a collection of never-ending thoughts with which I habitually identify. In other words, I think I am my thoughts.
All these many years I have focused on developing my spiritual self and wondered why it is that I have always fallen short of my expectations. The more I learned, the more I judged myself to be lacking in the stuff that makes one spiritual. But, where did my concept of what spirituality looks like develop? If I always fell short, there must be a standard by which I was making the judgement. Where did that originate? Was this my own concept of spirituality or was it from a source outside of me? Was this a biological process that brought me to a conclusion or was it an involuntary habit of being outer-referring?
According to some brain researchers, the mind functions as two distinct, yet connected processors. It would probably be fair to say the two halves of the brain, having different functions run parallel with each other. I’m not a brain researcher, but I do think that certain brain research offers some answers for me.
In my left brain, I am fully identified with my thoughts. To quote Rene Descartes, “Cogito ergo sum,” “I think; therefore I am.” I take the liberty of saying, I think I am and conversely, I think I am not. And it is within these two, small statements that I began to shift my own consciousness.
In my right brain, I am beautiful, one with the universe, intuitive and creative. In my right brain, I can move beyond the notion that I am my thoughts. I can even move beyond my modified version of Descartes’ famous quote, I think I am and I think I am not. In my right brain, there is not structured thought. In my right brain my modification becomes, simply, I am.
Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor gives a talk about right brain, left brain function. She is a brain researcher and she is a brain researcher who experienced a stroke that destroyed her very educated and relied upon left hemisphere. She tells us that the part of our brains that we choose to use determines what is possible for our lives. The video of the talk in its entirety is available through a link on my website. Go to www.cultivateyourlife.com and click on the link. It is 18:44 minutes of spell binding possibility.
I am in the process of becoming aware of the ways that I bond with my thoughts and allow myself and others to be defined by their limitations. I have come to understand in some small ways that I already am spirituality. Like looking for the diamond in your own back yard, the last place my thinking mind thought to look was within. Spirituality is not a commodity that I can seek and find. I am…spirituality.
According to Tom Landry, former Dallas Cowboys head coach and really smart guy, “A coach is someone who tells you what you don’t want to hear, so you can see what you don’t want to see, so you can be what you’ve always wanted to be.”
Basically, that’s the simple truth. But, as humans, we make the distinction between simple and easy, and from this comes the most basic personal life narrative, the hard story. There are many variations on this story line. For example, there is the standard if not generic, life is hard story, followed closely by the my life is harder than yours story. Such comparisons provide us with the glue of our humanity, the self-righteous position. Because, who are we without our self-righteous positions, for god’s sakes?
Who, indeed? Who would we be without our absolute certainty that we know what we know. We know what is right for everyone, the planet, the cosmos and beyond. Yet, we just don’t know what is right for us. We look anywhere, everywhere for clues, input, feedback, scripts, models, evidence. We look to the stars and phases of the moon, palm prints, crystal balls, tea leaves, television, movies, books, pop culture, the good book, magazines, news outlets, even our bank accounts to tell us who we are. This list is not even a beginning to the extent we go to gain external clues that answer this seemingly benign question.
We beg the question: Who are we?
Our appetites for external resources on the subject of us are insatiable. We can’t help ourselves. Ours is the face that launched a thousand ships, and that’s an understatement. This hunger has fueled the entire entertainment industry, beginning with humanity itself.
My quest is to find my own way, my own internal and inherent truth, share my experience as a coach and a human who has been gifted with an ability to translate my own journey into a more fluent language that will make transformation possible for more of us.
Please check back often, follow my journey, my thoughts and expect to find a way to become inner-referring and fluent in the language of you. I don’t have your answers. I have my own, but because we are all human, we can project and reflect for each other.
So, “a coach is someone who tells you what you don’t want to hear, so you can see what you don’t want to see, so you can be what you’ve always wanted to be.”
Who would we be if we could learn to look within to find what we need to hear to see who we really are? A coach is a teacher and a student simultaneously. Please be with me as I discover me.
